It's simple. If I weren't compelled to write a cheesy entry about you, I could sum it up in a single sentence: You will never fall in love with me.
Maybe you're wondering why I haven't moved on from something so palpable (if I only choose to accept it). We may have talked about this a hundred times-that you love me but you can never be with me because I will always be just a friend to you-but I can't force myself to stop grabbing at you.
I ache for the proximity that is never nearly close enough. The distance being only fairly shortened whenever we hold hands. But at some point, I have to not need you. I have to not throw myself at you and expect that I will fall safely into your arms and that you'll keep me there; really keep me there because you need me, too. Because you're in love with me and you're afraid to lose me. It's just that you don't. And you never will. Again, that clear.
You tell me about people and things that hurt you and I end up getting hurt too because I can't save you. Not that I don't want to, but you don't need me to. I'm just not that person for you. I watch you stumble at the feet of the lucky ones you're interested in and I just stand there, under the lamp post, by the bus stop waiting for you to come running back. But the traffic light never turned red. And you never crossed again. Still I never moved, I never walked away. I looked on as you drove by with them. Watched as the car rolled past buildings and other signages, and other people longing for you. All of our eyes glued to him/her/them that took you away, as it turned into a minute speck crawling onto the horizon.
Everyday I wish that you will knock on my door; heart in hand, asking me to be with you. Or you know, just show up. You don't have to give me anything, I'm actually used to not receiving anything anyway.
So to end this, I just want you to know that I still panic when I hear your name. And when I see you, I lose myself all over again. I don't know. I probably triggered another bomb just by saying these but I'm sorry. I love you. We're friends, yes I get that now. But please, take me for who I am and let me stay in love with you until you find your hero.
